It’s been a while since I last visited these pages as things have been going well but tonight revealed a side of someone that wasn’t what I expected at all. Let me elaborate……
From my last post you may recall my car show narcissist who was always in my face and gave me the silent treatment when things didn’t go his way. Since my post last year, I have been working with a personal trainer to lose some weight and get healthy after years of inactivity. He became a trusted friend and during our working together I was able to work through the trauma of what the narc had done to me and healed enough that we are now able to visit at car shows and even have lunch together in a group. I am so glad to be through that difficult part of my life – it just ate too many years up.
My trainer and I become very close friends, too close, and as his time in this country was limited as he was only here on assignment while his wife had a postdoc scholarship, he started to promise me that we would always be close and he would stay in touch to see how I was doing by using FaceTime and regular texts.
Well, you’ve guessed it – he has moved away and the texts have become few and far between and when he started ignoring me I called him out on it. We had a very good discussion but I made myself heard in that I thought he had been inappropriate with me and got far too close for what a personal trainer should be to a client. He was shocked that I mentioned I could document this and expose him – he said he would be happy to still call me a friend and keep wishing me the best in my life – I think he tried to butter me up.
So even though we are on ‘good’ terms, if you want to call it that, he has made it clear that he has moved on and his priorities are with his family and parents now and he can’t give me the energy or time he once did. I get that – so why did he promise that in the first place? A widow’s heart is already broken – no need to add more injury to it.
I may sound like a jilted teenager but I’m angry at all the lies just to make me feel good before he left. I feel used, abused, and felt I was taken advantage of. He was the teacher and I was the student and in this era of the MeToo movement, it makes me want to scream from the rooftops to never allow this man near a vulnerable woman again. He says he tried to love me back to health, since I was still a lonely and broken widow, but he knew he was leaving so it was unfair to give me a sample of love thinking it would fix me and get rid of my grief.
So here I sit tonight, not sure what to do other than to plan to write a book or continue my blog just to get this all out. I won’t name names, not yet anyway, I want to see how this transpires once he gets more settled in his new environment.
Time to talk to the counsellor again. Don’t know if I should let it go or plan revenge and destroy his career. I could do either….
The Betrayed Widow 